What to do if you don't feel like having sex: reasons and solutions
It's normal for both women and men to occasionally not want intimacy. But if the desire is absent for a long time and even usual scenarios don't excite, then it's not normal. It's important to figure out why you don't want sex and what to do in such situations. We will answer these questions right now.
Main reasons for lack of sexual desire
Let’s emphasize that the needs for intimacy can differ among people. The frequency of sexual desire depends on sexual temperament. If it’s high, a person can get aroused several times throughout the day with minimal stimulation. There's also low sexual temperament, where intimacy is desired only every few days. However, a long absence of desire clearly indicates a problem that needs resolution.
There are many reasons why one might not feel like having sex. It can be simple fatigue, a bad mood, or being overwhelmed with work. Other common reasons for a frequent lack of sexual desire include:
- medications that suppress sexual desire;
- insomnia;
- a sedentary lifestyle;
- alcohol abuse;
- depression;
- arguments with a partner.
It’s worth noting that ignoring prolonged absence of the desire for intimacy is not advisable. This can lead to relationship problems. It's important to understand why this has happened, learn the reasons, and timely take action to restore your intimate life.
Why libido decreases in men
An active sexual life is vital for men's health. Their psycho-emotional state and mood depend directly on the regularity of intimacy. Usually, when sex is absent, desire only intensifies. But with low libido, there may simply be no desire. Conversely, men become indifferent to intimacy even after a long period of time.
The absence of libido in men can stem from various reasons:
- medications: for enlarged prostate, high blood pressure, pain relief;
- sitting work;
- chronic fatigue;
- stress.
Prostatitis is another reason worth mentioning – a common male disease. Paradoxically, it often develops against a backdrop of prolonged abstinence from sex, leading to stagnant processes in the prostate gland’s secret, inflammation, and erectile dysfunction.
Additionally, the absence of libido in a young man may be caused by dependencies. Excessive drinking and the use of prohibited substances can suppress this function of the body.
Reasons why women may lose interest in sex
The situation with women is very similar. Lack of libido can also be due to a sedentary lifestyle, fatigue, or stress. However, among the causes, it’s important to highlight:
- hormonal imbalances, which can be caused by menstrual cycles, illnesses, or medication;
- dissatisfaction with themselves, their bodies, complexes;
- women's health issues.
Some oral contraceptives can also lead to decreased libido. Moreover, predicting such an effect is impossible; it manifests individually. Therefore, when discussing why a woman doesn't want sex, one should first consider the method of contraception. It is quite likely the reason lies in the contraceptive pills.
However, you can influence the situation. You need to act as quickly as possible to avoid potential health problems, issues with psycho-emotional state, or mental disorders.
How to restore sexual desire: proven methods
What to do if you don’t feel like having sex? First, eliminate the reasons causing the reduced libido. Try to remove the primary source; perhaps interest in sex will return. However, libido can also be stimulated.
For example, you can try stimulating oils and a product called “liquid vibrator.” Such products contain components that promote blood flow to the genital organs, leading to sexual desire. Sex toys are excellent at addressing a lack of interest in intimacy. Add to your bedroom a mini vibrator, clitoral stimulator, or prostate massager for men. You might also consider role-playing games and experiments with different types of sex. 18+ toys will not only help rekindle interest in intimacy but also diversify sensations during orgasm.
Don't forget about romance. Strive to create an atmosphere conducive to sex more often: dates, candles, beautiful lingerie. By the way, you can also buy special candles from a sex shop, the oil from which can be used for massages. An erotic massage can become a great continuation of a romantic evening, part of foreplay for subsequent sex.

